Mid of the week has always been a little bit of a letdown, what with it being the middle of the workweek and all.
So to start things out on a bright note for the week, I bring you the…
19 one liner head scratchers to make seniors smile
- – Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
- – Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
- – Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
- – Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
- – Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
- – If you can’t drink and drive, why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
- – Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
- – Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
- – How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
- – If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
- – If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
- – If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
- – If you’re in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
- – You know how most packages say “Open here.” What is the protocol if the package says, “Open somewhere else”?
- – Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
- – Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
- – Why isn’t “palindrome” spelled the same way backwards?
- – Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?
- – You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Hope that put a little smile on your face and Keep On Smilin’
Bonus joke about getting old
Age is a Funny Thing – Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, “Surely I can’t look that old?” Well . . …. You’ll love this one!
I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his, DDS, which bore his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name who had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with a deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. Hmmm … Or could he?
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.
“Yes. Yes, I did. I’m a Mustang,” he gleamed with pride.
“When did you graduate?” I asked.
He answered, “In 1959. Why do you ask?”
“You were in my class!” I exclaimed. He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, wrinkled SOB asked, “What did you teach?”
Arthritis is the inflammation of joints and muscles in the body. This disease progresses with age and severity as there is not a known cure for arthritis at this time. Arthritis pain is caused by the...
Even though seniors are taking better care of themselves and living longer we know that eventually, we cannot avoid the inevitable. Even though we can’t cheat death, we can personalize our...