Mid of the week has always been a little bit of a letdown, what with it being the middle of the workweek and all.
So to start things out on a bright note for the week, I bring you the…
19 one liner head scratchers to make seniors smile
- – Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
- – Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
- – Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
- – Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
- – Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
- – If you can’t drink and drive, why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?
- – Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
- – Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
- – How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
- – If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
- – If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?
- – If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
- – If you’re in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
- – You know how most packages say “Open here.” What is the protocol if the package says, “Open somewhere else”?
- – Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
- – Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
- – Why isn’t “palindrome” spelled the same way backwards?
- – Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?
- – You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Hope that put a little smile on your face and Keep On Smilin’
Bonus joke about getting old
Age is a Funny Thing – Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, “Surely I can’t look that old?” Well . . …. You’ll love this one!
I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his, DDS, which bore his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name who had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with a deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. Hmmm … Or could he?
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.
“Yes. Yes, I did. I’m a Mustang,” he gleamed with pride.
“When did you graduate?” I asked.
He answered, “In 1959. Why do you ask?”
“You were in my class!” I exclaimed. He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, wrinkled SOB asked, “What did you teach?”
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