Are you, as a senior, having a good relationship with everyone around you? Is there any relationship that you want to repair so as to leave no regret?
Time to unload, and experience life without the interference of our accumulation of opinions and ideas. Being completely involved in whatever we are doing. Every moment is new. Living in the here and now.
Relationships with your Children
As our children reach adulthood, we must learn the fine line between helpful advice and “meddling”. Always telling them what they should do. The advice will be resented and may grow into a major problem and a relationship wedge between your child and yourself. Each child is different and each relationship is different so this is not an exact science. If your child and you have a strong good relationship with good communication lines between you, give them some advice without being too overbearing. See how it is taken. Read the body language. Even though they may not voice their resentment our of respect for you, they may still get their defenses up.
Your child is now an adult and they want you to stop treating them like a child. But we have a hard time with this relationship step. We will always feel we want to protect and shield our children no matter their age. To produce productive and well adjust adults we have to learn to let go and let them grow and be independent.
Seniors and their Parents
What they say is true – as we age and our parents reach the end of their life span, our roles do reverse. We are not in the position of caring for our parents to different degrees. This reversal usually progresses slowly. Helping them with mental or physical challenges they now face.
As our parents reach their “twilight” years and we, ourselves, are finding ourselves as seniors, the relationship between you will evolve into the role reversal syndrome just as you had always heard. It’ll be a slow transition as your parents age and some type of physical affliction limits their mobility or they just need a little help with technology or other ever-changing area.
Your Relationship with your Siblings
Studies show that siblings tend to bond closer in later life and the relationship between siblings lasts longer and is stronger than any other we have in our lives. They surmise one of the reasons is the bond of memories from our childhood that we share. Perhaps vacation-related, holiday-related, in addition to being the only person who probably knew you back when you were a child. Any rivalry tends to be put aside in adulthood and relationships are stronger than ever. Often, the need to help aging parents helps forge a new and stronger bond between siblings.
As siblings reach adulthood and start off on their own lives, beginning with college or marriage, it is normal for siblings to drift apart. But as middle age comes upon us, we tend to feel a need and desire to create a bond with them. Maybe we are yearning to share childhood memories, perhaps memories from happier times.
Birth Order plays a role in our sibling relationships that begins when we are kids and has a role as we turn into seniors.
- First born’s tend to be authoritive, responsible, and driven. They tend to take the role of surrogate parent. In adulthood they should start to relinquish this role. Let younger siblings take responsibility and leadership in family issues or events. Avoid your first instinct to give advice to younger siblings. They mean even seek it as they play out their own traditional role, but fight the temptation to fall in your usual roles. Let them come up with their own solution.
- Middle Children – also known as the peacekeepers and the ones that avoid conflict. The ones that can see both sides of their siblings view and the ones that want everyone to get along. In adulthood, the middle children should take a stronger and role in their family place. Speak their mind and not always be the negotiator in family conflicts.
- The Youngest Child – The Baby of the Family -The youngest in the family normally has an advantage of security of having their older siblings throughout their childhood defending and looking out for them. They have to take a stronger role and prove that they are strong individuals and just because they happened to be born last doesn’t mean they lack strength and leadership qualities.
Friendships – Old and New
It’s a rare friendship that will hold up over the years. Our tastes and personalities change as the years pass and this in turn can determine what if any interests you may share with these friends. Its’ perfectly normal to change your circle of friends as you get older.
Some of us have people in our lives that we haven’t seen in decades, perhaps only exchanging Christmas cards. Barely remembering their kids names. But for some reason, hanging on to the thin thread of a friendship from long ago can bring a smile to your face. Like sharing a memory with someone.
Then some of us periodically cleanse our pool of friends for a new pool. Shifting into a different phase, sometimes triggered by a move or a new hobby you take up. Just as other relationships change due to the accumulated years and the changes we go through, these friendships are also in danger of being obsolete and not up to the test of time and change.
Although, in some cases the direction we grown in is compatible with this friend and no matter what change you both go through or how seldom you see or talk, it’s just like old times.
Seniors – Lovers and Relationships
With the Opposite Sex or in some cases the same sex, the statistics show it is very common for couples to divorce in their 40s – 50’s. I find this to be a natural transition. We are not the same personality’s we were 25 years ago. Naive to the world. Naive to people and relationships. Looking at the world through rose colored glasses.
This category covers it all. Our legal spouses, our gay lovers, or our live in lovers. The face of senior relationships has changed drastically from years ago. More and more seniors are living together rather than making the relationship legal.
If you are in a situation where you don’t get out much and don’t have many opportunities to meet someone, the internet is the answer many seniors are turning to. With specific dating sites geared towards seniors, this option opens new windows of opportunity like no other tool can do.
If you are looking for more of a friendship rather than a romantic relationship, there are many sites offering to hook you up with seniors with similar interests. Interacting is good for seniors even if it is through a computer hookup. Communication is communication.
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